Enchanting
by stupidpenname
Summary: This is about the woman who turned the prince into the beast. Anyone else hate the idea of some woman going around, randomly turning people into monsters for no good reason? I do! Can anyone say Punitive Damages? This is essentially a rant. One shot.


_Once upon a time, in a faraway land, _

_A young Prince lived in a shining castle. _

_Although he had everything his heart desired, _

_The Prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. _

_But then, one winter's night, _

_An old beggar woman came to the castle _

_And offered him a single rose In return for shelter from the bitter cold. _

_Repulsed by her haggard appearance, _

_The Prince sneered at the gift, _

_And turned the old woman away. _

_But she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, _

_For Beauty is found within. _

_And when he dismissed her again, _

_The old woman's ugliness melted away _

_To reveal a beautiful Enchantress. _

_The Prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, _

_For she had seen that there was no love in his heart. _

_And as punishment, _

_She transformed him into a hideous beast, _

_And placed a powerful spell on the castle, _

_And all who lived there. _

_Ashamed of his monstrous form, _

_The beast concealed himself inside his castle, _

_With a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. _

_The Rose she had offered, _

_Was truly an enchanted rose, _

_Which would bloom until his twenty first year. _

_If he could learn to love another, _

_And earn her love in return _

_By the time the last petal fell, _

_Then the spell would be broken._

_If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast _

_For all time. _

_As the years passed, _

_He fell into despair, and lost all hope, _

_For who could ever learn to love...a Beast?_

In a grey city, in a grey building, in a grey office, Ms L. Lloyd flicked through the file on her grey desk. The Newton's cradle beside her gentle clicked back and forth as her eyes skimmed the damning report. She slapped the file shut and looked up at her client.

'I'm sorry to inform you of this, but we at _Ash, Dusk and Slate_ have studied you case very carefully, and we feel that at this present moment that we are unable to for-fill your legal need Miss…' Her eyes swiftly glanced at the name one the file '…Enchantress.'

The Enchantress' on the other side of her desk narrowed her eyes. Her shimmering apple-green gown of satin and taffeta, her hair of captured sun-rays, her smooth Revlon china skin, in fact, every atom of her existence clashed against the world around her like emerald shattering fogged glass. Except her eyes. Her grey eyes.

'What do you mean you won't take my case?' she spat. 'You're meant to represent people aren't you? Represent me!'

Ms Lloyd sighed. 'We've all agreed that it would probably be in your best interest to plead guilty Miss Enchantress, and since you stubbornly refuse our advice we see no other option but to withdraw council.'

'But these charges are preposterous! I made the happy ending, doesn't that give me some diplomatic immunity or something.'

'Not after the _Shrek Two_ incident. And the prosecutors will be arguing that your actions were actually detrimental to the out-come of this tale.'

The Enchantress shot up.

'What!? What a load of s…'

'Please calm down Miss Enchantress.' Ms Lloyd could see staff and clients peering in through the glass divider to her office. Jafar was looking particularly interested.

'This is crazy!' screamed The Enchantress flinging her hands (and to Ms Lloyd's horror, her wand) erratically around the room. 'I'm the one who stopped that spoilt turd becoming a tyrant! Someone had to step in.'

'Miss Enchantress, sit down if you please!' Ms Lloyd's snapped like a whip. The Enchantress, fuming, sat in her modern and stylish office armchair. Her eyes where steel cold.

'Thank you.' Ms Lloyd straightens the arms of her dove-coloured pant-suit. 'If you wish, I can go through the case with you and explain your predicament in entirety, then you can choose whether to take our legal advice or find other counsel, Okay?

The Enchantress nodded sulkily.

'Good. Firstly it says here that the main reason why you felt compelled to perform this enchantment is that you "had seen that there was no love in his heart." Correct? How?'

'When you have ability to turn someone into a beast you have other skills too.' The Enchantress snapped.

Ms Lloyd ignored that curt remark 'True. The term 'no love' however is very subjective Miss Enchantress. Do you mean no love for you, no love for anyone, no love for roses…?'

The Enchantress shifted uncomfortably. 'I dunno… Just no love, that's all.'

Ms Lloyd couldn't prevent her eyebrow from rising. The Enchantress sneered.

'Don't give me that look. I was freezing my can off out there and he didn't have the decency to let me inside.'

'And at this point you were guised as an "old beggar woman" with a "haggard appearance", correct?'

'Yes. This proves that he had a thing against ugly people, which makes the punishment of becoming a beast far more appropriate. I didn't do this on a whim you know.'

'Miss Enchantress.' Ms Lloyd leant on her desk, entwining her fingers in a thoughtful manner. 'Are you familiar with the Snow _White and the Seven Dwarfs_ case. It's quite famous.'

The Enchantress bit her rose petal lip in thought. 'Was that the one where some silly little girl allowed a witch to come into her house and was poisoned by a pear or something?'

Ms Lloyd tried not to role her eyes. 'Very close. In that case though, the witch in question took on an appearance quite similar to your's.'

'So?'

'So, In one very renown tale, a young girl falls victim to an unfamiliar old woman baring gifts, by letting her inside the house, as a clear moral comment for children on "stranger danger". Yet in this one when the Prince did the exact opposite by not letting an unfamiliar old woman baring gifts, inside the house, he is punished for it, clearly sending mixed messages to young impressionable children.'

The Enchantress frowned 'Oh.'

'Also that does bring us to the question of the Princes age. In the prologue it also says that the rose "would bloom until his twenty first year." Correct?'

'Stop saying correct, you know it is.'

Cunningly Ms Lloyd bit the inside of her cheek in order to prevent her saying a naughty comment.

'It's just that at in the song _Be Our Guest_, the candlestick Lumiere states that;

"Ten years we've been rusting,

Needing so much more than dusting,

Needing exercises a chance to use our skills…"'

'What has this go to do with anything?'

'Well, by a simple method of calculation.' Ms Lloyd emphasised the word simple. 'Subtracting the years of enchantment from the princes age when the rose would wilt, we learn that he was roughly _eleven_ when you cursed him.'

The Enchantress started. 'Eleven? Really? Boy he was tall!'

'Yes, but jury won't look too kindly on you cursing an eleven year old just because he was rude to you.' Ms Lloyd couldn't contain a chuckle. 'I mean if every eleven year old boy who was rude to an elderly person got turned into beast, puberty would have a lot more fur involved.'

The Enchantress glared at Ms Lloyd.

'I don't like your tone. And anyway, you're getting this information from a sing stick of wax. He's not exactly the most reliable witness in the world. If it was the clock maybe…'

'This brings us to point number three.' Ms Lloyd interrupted. 'You said before that you did this because of the _prince's_ cruelty, cor… right? So why curse everyone else in the castle?

'Well… we… we all know who spoilt him didn't we?' The Enchantress grasped at this straw. 'Who do you blame when your kid is a brat? Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat. Blaming the kids is a lie and a shame You know exactly who's to blame…'

'Yes, yes. This firm also represents the Wonka chocolate factory so all the Oompa Loompa songs are copyrighted'

'Sorry.'

Ms Lloyd looked up surprised. The Enchantress shook her head.

'Wait! No I'm not.'

Ms Lloyd slumped a little.

'This little punk was going to rule the country!' continued the Enchantress. 'He was in a position of authority…'

Ms Lloyd relished her interruption. 'Gaston was in a position of authority. Why didn't you curse him?'

'What? Are you serious? Gaston wasn't in a position of authority.'

Ms Lloyd once again flicked through the file. 'It was once said to him;

"There's no man in town as admired as you,

You're everyone's favourite guy,

Everyone awed and inspired by you,

and it's not very hard to see why,"

And that is just a fraction of the song. It seems that this Gaston had far more influence over the people of the village that the Prince ever did. He was also arrogant, spoilt, and everything you claim the prince to be. Why not him?'

The Enchantress mumbled something incoherent to her chest.

The corner of Ms Lloyds mouth crept up a fraction. "You see why we have decided against taking the case.'

'Wait a second!' snapped the Enchantress. 'I know that it may not have happened for the right reasons but it all turned out okay didn't it? I did what I had to. The kid was clearly a brat. We all saw how rude, impatient and temperamental he was. It was in the movie.'

Ms Lloyd slapped the file shut.

'Miss Enchantress.' She said with a deathly calm. 'What you seemed to have neglected to think about, before you felt the need to transmogrify a minor "for his own good", is about the psychological ramifications of your actions. Did you think that maybe if he was able to have friends his own age he may have become more empathetic naturally? Or did you even consider that maybe his anti-social tenancies stemmed more from _you_ turning him into a social outcast who was unable to mature like a normal person, rather than him being inherently evil. In fact I would place a bet that being turned into an agoraphobic monster, who being so "_Ashamed of his monstrous form" _felt the need to _"concealed himself inside his castle"_, probably put a bit of a hamper on his social development. And since the villagers upon learning about his existence felt the need to go to his home, destroy all of his possessions and effectively lynch him while singing the jaunty little tune of "kill the beast", it was probably a good idea not to go to his neighbours for a quick cup of coffee and a chant. Maybe it was a phase that so many pre-pubescent boys go through. Maybe he was a bourgeoisie snot nose punk, who would have turned out to be a despot. But it doesn't matter now because you had made up your mind about him and when to wreak you pre-emptive vengeance. Now he's an emotionally trouble young man, with trust issues, repressed anger and who –the file says- has anxiety attacks when people knock at his door for fear that if he opens it he might be turned back, or worse. His servants are having adjustment problems, feeling the strange need to set their hands on fire and pour boiling water from their noses. And most importantly his relationship with his wife – the reason for this whole little farce- is in jeopardy because Belle is having trouble transferring her feelings for the beast over to a guy that has a totally different face. I know it's not professional to say so but in my humble opinion, you deserved to get sued.'

The Enchantress gave Ms Lloyd an icy glare. 'I don't like your tone.'

'Get out of my office.'


End file.
